Mom's Best Advice

"Mom I tied the knot."

"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."

My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."

I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."

And that's when the fight started...

My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"

I told her: "My dick."

And that's when the fight started...

What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

They both have a description of the animal on the front of the cage. The Southern zoo includes a recipe.