A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Get In The Kitchen

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Why do women have smaller feet than men?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

Where's My Gun?

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Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

That's Why They Name Hurricanes After Women

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How is a woman like a hurricane?

When they come, they're loud and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car.

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Things Are Tough All Over

Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.

Normal Reaction

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

Witness For The Prosecution

Returning from a business trip a day early a guy tells his cab driver: "Cabbie, I think my wife's cheating on me. If I give you a hundred bucks, will you come in and be my witness?" The cabbie says, "Sure, pal."

It's after midnight when they enter the house. The husband grabs his gun from the front closet and he and the cabbie tip-toe up the stairs. The husband pushes the bedroom door open, flips on the light and pulls back the blanket. Sure enough he sees his wife and a stranger lying there totally naked.

The husband puts the gun to the naked guy's head when his wife screams: "Stop! Don't do it. I'll confess. I lied to you when I told you I had inherited some money. It was Larry who paid for that red Corvette I gave you. It was Larry who paid for your new bass boat as well, And it was Larry who paid for our country club membership. Larry even pays the monthly club dues and greens fees."

The husband lowers the gun and looks at the cabbie. "What would you do?" he asks.

The cabbie says, "I'd cover Larry's ass with that blanket before he catches cold."