Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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Joe gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but when he gets there, the seat is in the last row way back in the corner of the stadium.
Halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the fifty-yard line. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, Joe says to the guy sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"
The guy says, "No."
Joe says, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"
The guy says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1967."
Joe says, "That's really sad. But couldn't you find anyone to take the seat? A friend, or a close relative?"
The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."
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When I die, I want to go like my Grandfather...in his sleep.
Not screaming like the other passengers in his car.
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How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.