A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Who'd You Call An Asshole?

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A guy in a bar stands up & says, "All lawyers are assholes." Another guy stands up & says "Hey...I resent that..." The first guy says, "Why? Are you a lawyer?"

The second guy says, "No. I'm an asshole."

White Parts Anyone?

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How's a sun-tanned girl like a roast chicken?

The white parts are the best.

Shove It!

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.

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You're Doing It All Wrong

Johnson's wife had been in a coma for four months. The nurses came to realise that she would move a little every time they washed her crotch area. Her doctor thought hard about this and asked Johnson to come to the hospital.

When he got there the doctor suggested perhaps if Johnson practiced oral sex with her she might wake out of the coma. Johnson said he would try anything and asked for some privacy.

Minutes later he came rushing out of the room shouting, "Doc, help, I think she's choking!"

That's The Whole Point

What does a virgin and a balloon have in common?

One prick and it's all over.

Notes From My Course In Business School

Here is all you need to know about marketing:

You spot a hot chick at a party. You go up to her and say, "I’m fantastic in bed." That’s called Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and you spot a hot chick. Have one of your buddies go up to her, point over to you and say, "He’s fantastic in bed." That’s called Advertising.

You spot a hot chick at a party. You get her phone number, call her up the next day and say, "Hi, I’m fantastic in bed." We'll call that Telemarketing.

You’re at a party when you spot a hot chick. You get up, straighten your tie, walk over to her and bring her a drink. You compliment her on how she's dressed. Be sure to open the door for her, pick up her purse if she drops it and even offer her a ride later. Then you say to her, "By the way, I’m fantastic in bed." You got it - Public Relations.

Finally, you’re at a party and spot a hot chick. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you’re fantastic in bed." Now that’s Brand Recognition.