What happened to the depressed dyslexic?
He threw himself behind the bus.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.
What's the difference between pink and purple?
The grip!
One night while I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep my wife asked me a real stupid question: "Honey, why do you think god gave men a dick?"
I opened one eye and told her: "So we'd always have at least one way to shut a woman up!"
And that;s when the fight started...