What happened to the depressed dyslexic?
He threw himself behind the bus.
What is more messed up than fingering your sister?
Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.
A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.
The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"
The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
