One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the guy what he wants. He says, “Oh, just gimme a beer”.
The bartender asks him “What's wrong, you look really down.”. The man replied, “My wife and i got into a fight and she told me she wouldn't talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats the problem?”
There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"
One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."