Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?
Answer: My ex-wife.
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
Your wife will always blow your bonus!
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
My wife was in labor with our first kid and she's cursing and screaming at me the whole time.
I told her: "Hey, don't blame me. I wanted to stick it in your ass but you said, 'No, that'll hurt.'"
And that's when the fight started...