Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?
Answer: My ex-wife.
What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?
Take them off next time.
Peace comes at a price. If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, there would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage.
A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.
He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.
But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.
In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."
"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"
"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."
