Every Frickin' Joke

Bingo!

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 24 February 2015; Hits: 3182

How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?

Put up a "Bingo" sign.

Get Back In The Kitchen!

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 23 February 2015; Hits: 2553

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

Warm Apple Pie

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 22 February 2015; Hits: 2689

What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?

You can eat your Mom's apple pie.

Mooooooo

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 21 February 2015; Hits: 2730

How do you turn a fox into a cow?

Marry her.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

Why Santa Doesn't Have Children

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.

Naughty Or Nice

Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

Because he knows where all the naughty girls live