A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Picture Perfect

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2092

I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.

She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."

And that's when the fight started...

I Hereby Sentence You

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2313

A husband gets home from his day in court on a traffic offense and his wife asks: "So, how did it go?"

The husband replies: "Well honey, I ended up in front of Judge Calloway, you remember, the judge who married us. Turns out he remembered me too... so I pleaded 'guilty with explanation' and he only gave me a small fine. That was way better than the last time, when you and I were in there together. That time he gave me life without the possibility of parole."

And that's when the fight started...

No Need To Call The Police

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2915

It's Valentine's day! So ladies, don't you worry about getting me what you got me last year.

I have enough restraining orders already.

A Visit To My Local Sex Toys Shop

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2725

This year I bought some interesting gifts for my wife for Valentine's Day

I got her 2 sets of handcuffs, 4 pairs of crotchless panties, a giant butt plug, a 12 inch vibrator, a bondage whip, a naughty nurses outfit and 6 huge glow in the dark penis shaped helium balloons.

Will she be happy with it all? I don't know.

But what I do know is that on February 14th her grave will stand out more than any others in the cemetery!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Cheaper Than A Motel

An old couple goes to the doctor. The man says, "We want to know if we're makin' love properly. Will you watch us?"

The doctor says, "Go ahead." So they go to it.

The doctor says, "Looks good to me... That'll be forty dollars."

They go back six weeks in a row and do the same thing each time.

On the seventh week the doctor says, "Why do you keep coming back? I told you, you're making love perfectly."

The old guy says, "Well, she can't come to my house, and I can't go to her's...a motel is fifty bucks...you only charge us forty and we get back thirty-five back from Medicare."

Who Wants To Be My Bitch?

A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.

"And you, Susie? " the teacher asks.

Susie says "I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

The Voice of Experience

Husband asks: "Should I watch porn or hockey?"

Wife: "Watch porn. You already know how to play hockey."

And that's when the fight started...