How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?
Put up a "Bingo" sign.
What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever.
My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"
I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"
And that's when the fight started...
A middle-aged guy goes to the proctologist for his yearly checkup. He strips down, and the doctor tells him to bend over.
The doctor puts his middle finger all the way up the guy's ass and says, "Is that uncomfortable?"
The guy says, "Not as long as I don't feel both of your hands on my back."
