How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?
Put up a "Bingo" sign.
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...
How's a frying pan hanging on the wall like a woman's panties?
You have to get them down before you can put the meat in.
A Catholic boy in confession says, "Bless me Father, I have sinned, I masturbated while thinking about my sister."
"That's a disgrace," said the priest, "especially when you have two gorgeous brothers."
