What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
Baby seal walks into a bar.
Bartender says "What'll it be?"
Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
