What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
My wife asked me to guess what she wanted for her birthday.
So I said: "Your face from 10 years ago?"
And that's when the fight started...
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.
My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.
Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
