What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's First Movement.
The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"
And that's when the fight started...
The other day my wife asked me to talk to her like she was special.
So I said, "Gooooo ... maaaaake ... meeeee ... aaaaa ... cuuuuup ... offfff ... coffeeeee"
