What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?
You can eat your Mom's apple pie.
Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.
No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.
Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.
One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."
The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"
Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."
"So... what's the problem?"
"I don't get up until 9."