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Where Is The Nearest ATM?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 08 March 2015
Hits: 2790

A plumber, an electrician, and an accountant walk into a strip club.

The electrician calls a blonde over, licks a ten-dollar bill and slaps it on her ass. Then the plumber licks a fifty-dollar bill and he too slaps it on her ass.

The accountant takes out his ATM card, swipes it in the crack of her ass, reaches over and grabs the sixty bucks.

What's Not For Breakfast

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 07 March 2015
Hits: 3111

What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

You can't get either of them at home.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 06 March 2015
Hits: 2403

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns.

The guy says, "Fuck...it works."

Going Down Under And Not Coming Back

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 05 March 2015
Hits: 2738

A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

 

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Paper or Plastic?

A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.

"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"

And that's when the fight started...

New Train Set For Christmas

Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?

Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.

Should Have Written A Pre-Nup

Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"

Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."

Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

And that's when the fight started...

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