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Put Her In Her Place

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 28 February 2015
Hits: 3131

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

Best Friends Forever

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 February 2015
Hits: 2446

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

Makes You Want To Take An Uber

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 February 2015
Hits: 2766

What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?

The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.

Never Drink And Drive

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 February 2015
Hits: 2392

A guy is driving home when a cop pulls him over.
The cop says, "Have you been drinking?"
The guy says, "Yes, I have."
The cop says, "Please step out of the car."
The guy says, "Why? Don't you believe me?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Doctor Will See You Now

The receptionist calls the doctor into the waiting room in a panic: "Doctor, the patient you just treated died on his way out the door. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Turn him around so it looks like he died on the way in."

Pray For Me

Willie goes to a revival meeting for some much needed prayer. The preacher says, "Whoever needs to be healed-UH... come for-ward-UH... come to the al-tar-UH... ask for the heal-ing-UH..." Willie gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher says, "All right my son, what do you need me to pray for?" Willie says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one hand over Willie's ear, puts the other hand on top of Willie's head, and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher takes his hands away, stands back, and says, "Son, how is your hearing now?"

Willie says, "I don't know preacher. My hearing ain't 'til next Wednesday."

Short Strokes

What do you do in case of fallout?

Put it back in and take shorter strokes.

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