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Put Her In Her Place

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 28 February 2015
Hits: 3374

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.

Best Friends Forever

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 February 2015
Hits: 2683

Difference between a friend & a real friend?

A friend helps you move. A real friend helps you move a body.

Makes You Want To Take An Uber

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 February 2015
Hits: 3008

What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?

The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.

Never Drink And Drive

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 February 2015
Hits: 2636

A guy is driving home when a cop pulls him over.
The cop says, "Have you been drinking?"
The guy says, "Yes, I have."
The cop says, "Please step out of the car."
The guy says, "Why? Don't you believe me?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Going Around Town

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

How Much Do You Want It?

An elderly couple had been dating for some time and decided it was finally time to tie the knot. But before the wedding they sat down to have a long conversation about how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, sharing the chores, family and so on.

Finally the old man decided it was time to broach the subject of the intimate side of their relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked rather hopefully.

"Oh, I like to have it infrequently," his bride to be responded.

The old guy thought for a moment, then asked, "Was that one word or two?"

Switcheroo

A man went into a local bar and took a seat next to a pretty woman. He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I’m celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman, "I’m celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?" "I’m a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally fertile." "What a coincidence" the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child for years. Today, my gynecologist told me I’m finally pregnant!" And she clinked glasses with the farmer again.

"By the way" she asked, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I switched cocks," the farmer replied.

To which the woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence."

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