Every Frickin' Joke
Maybe He'll Propose?
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3174
I overheard my girlfriend on the phone say to her friend she wants to get engaged on Valentine's Day.
Hope she finds someone nice.
100% Guaranteed!
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3289
Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.
She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.
Sexting
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3326
I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,
"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"
Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:
"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and I've been banging your brother."
I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:
"You OK mom?"
A Very Special Valentine
- Category: And that's when the fight started...
- Hits: 2837
I was talking to my buddy on the phone when my wife walked in. It being Valentine's day she must have been curious when she heard me say:
"I gotta tell ya... I really spoiled her today..."
So with her curiosity running wild she continued to eavesdrop and heard the rest.
"First I bought her a lovely new scent.
Then I rubbed essential oils into her beautiful body.
And then I did the hoovering and the dusting.
Man, I really love that car."
And that's when the fight started...
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