A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

This Will Take Might Of Steel

Hits: 1773

Harry is 85 when he gets married to a 22-year-old. One night after his honeymoon he shows up at the local bar where all the guys want to hear about his wedding night.

"Well," Harry tells them, "We got to the hotel and my youngest son helped me out. First he carried me up the stairs. Then he helped me get undressed. Finally he lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so's me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off her."

One of his buddies asks him, "Why did it take your three sons to lift you off?"

Harry says, "'Cause I fought 'em."

Don't Miss These Jokes!

An Apple A Day...

A man walks into a bar and asks for rum and coke. The bartender hands him an apple. The man, surprised, takes a bite of the apple and it tastes just like rum.

The bartender says, "Turn it around!" The man takes a bite and says, "Wow, and that's coke!"

Another man walks in and orders gin and tonic. The bartender hands him an apple and tells him to take a bite. The man is surprised to taste tonic. The bartender tells him to flip it around and sure enough he tastes gin.

A third man comes into the bar and the other two guys excitedly tell him about the apples, "You can order anything you want and the bartender will give you an apple that tastes just like it!"

The new guy, not believing a word, says, "Oh yeah? Give me an apple that tastes like pussy." The bartender hands him an apple and the man takes a bite. He immediately spits it out and yells, "That tastes like shit!"

The bartender says, "Turn it around."

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

The Miracle of Lights

What do you call 8 days of blowjobs by candlelight?

Honica Lewinsky.