How do you turn a fox into a cow?
Marry her.
My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.
The bell rings at a whorehouse.
The madam answers the door and finds a guy with no arms and no legs. She looks at him and says: "What'ya think you're gonna do in here?"
He says: "Hey... I rang the bell, didn't I?"
My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"
I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."
And that's when the fight started...
