How do you turn a fox into a cow?
Marry her.
Sex is just like air...
It's no big deal until you're not getting any.
"Mom I tied the knot."
"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."
Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"
A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."
