How do you turn a fox into a cow?
Marry her.
2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.
I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"
I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."
And that's when the fight started...
A man went to the police station looking for a chance to question the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sargent.
“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”