Rub-A-Dub-Dub

The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."

And that's when the fight started...

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

What's the difference between pussy & pot?

If you can smell pot from across the room it's the good stuff.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.