A drunk calls the police, and says, "They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal..."
Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat."
A lady walked into a pharmacy and asked: "Do you have Viagra?" The pharmacist answered: "Sure." She then asked: "Does it work?" and his reply was: "Definitely!"
Finally whe wanted to know: "Can you get it over the counter?" and he told her "I can if I take two!"
