Every Frickin' Joke

Better rethink this one

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 03 April 2016; Hits: 2249

Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.

Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.

The Chicken Or The Egg?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 02 April 2016; Hits: 2606

A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.

The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.

The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."

Never Stopped Talking

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 01 April 2016; Hits: 2408

A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

The friend asks, “Why not?”

The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

Let's Get It On

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 31 March 2016; Hits: 3036

What is the definition of "making love"?

Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

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Will Help The Commute

Gal tells her friend, "I just read it's against the law to go topless in the New York subway."

Her friend says, "Thank God. It's bad enough when you catch your scarf in those doors."

On The Night Beat

A cop pulls a guy over one night for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyzer. "I can't do that, officer, I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"OK, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we'll take a blood sample." "Can't do that either, officer. I'm a hemophiliac. If I give blood, I could die."

"Fine then, just walk this white line." "Can't do that either, officer." "Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."

They Do Look The Same

This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices a handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out, to which he responds, "Sure lady."

They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers, "You know, I have an itchy pussy."

The young man responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!"