What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?
You start getting clothes for Christmas.
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?
I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."
He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"
And that's when the REAL fight started...
