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Things Aren't Always What They Appear To Be

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 April 2016
Hits: 2595

The 10th grade biology teacher asked Jessica: "What part of the human body increases to 10 times it's normal size when excited?" Jessica responded: "I'm too embarrassed to answer!"

So the teacher asked Little Johnny who quickly said: "That's easy...the pupil of the eye." "That's correct, Johnny. Very good!"

And then turning back to Jessica, the teacher said: "I have three things to say to you, young lady... first, you didn't do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you're in for a big disappointment!"

Don't Lie To Me!

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 26 April 2016
Hits: 2964

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, they headed to her house for an afternoon of fun. Exhausted after screwin' around, they fell asleep and didn't wake up until 8pm.

As the man threw on his clothes, he told his mistress to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. Mystified, she did as he said and when she came back in he slipped them on and raced home.

At the front door his wife confronted him. "Where have you been?" she demanded. "Darling," he replied, "I cannot tell a lie. I've been having an affair with my secretary. We fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."

The wife looked down at his shoes and shouted, "Liar! You've been playing golf!"

A Real Knock Out

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 25 April 2016
Hits: 2875

What do Dracula's girlfriend and a washed up boxer have in common?

They both go down for the count!

Best Way To Impress

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 24 April 2016
Hits: 2732

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Shoot him in the face!

On The Rag

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

There's No Cure

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes out a tissue, gently wipes her nose. Then she suddenly begins to shudder violently in her seat.

The man isn’t sure what's going on, so goes back to reading. A few minutes later the woman sneezes again. She grabs a tissue, gently wipes her nose and once again begins to shudder violently.

The man is becoming more and more intrigued with this shuddering thing. A few more minutes pass and sure enough she sneezes yet again. So, out comes a tissue and after a gentle wipe the shuddering starts up.

The man has finally had all he can take. So he turns to the woman and says, "Three times you’ve sneezed and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose then you shudder violently! Are you sending me signals or what?"

The woman replies, "I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." Now the guy is feeling a little embarrassed but is even more curious. He says, "I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."

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