A guy is just miserable. So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.
The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."
The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."
So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.
When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"
The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."
A kid comes home from school and tells his mom, "I've got a problem.at school. Little Johnny keeps using two words I don't understand - pussy and bitch".
Mom says "Oh, that's no big deal. Pussy is a little cat like our Fluffy, and bitch is a female dog, like our Queenie."
He says thanks, but decides he better check with his dad. He heads to the workshop in the basement where he tells his dad, "Little Johnny at school is using words I don't know. I asked mom but I don't think she told me the real meaning."
Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to your mom with stuff like that. She just doesn't get it. What are the words?" The boy tells him. "Pussy and bitch."
Dad thinks for a minute and says "OK" let me show you. He pulls out an old Playboy magazine from the bottom drawer, grabs a marking pen and opens to the centerfold. Then he circles the pubic area, points and says, "Son, everything inside that circle is pussy."
