What's the best part of gardening?
Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
My wife wanted to be a little adventurous. She told me she was up for making a sex tape.
I said, "Great, we should hold auditions for your part."
And that's when the fight started...
What do you get when cross an attorney with a feminist?
A lawyer who won't fuck you.
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
