What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste. Ewww...
I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.
She asked why not?
"Cause the thief spends less than you do."
And that's when the fight started...
Cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy what do you get?
A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.
I was reminiscing with my wife about when we first got married, So I gave her a little nudge and asked: "Honey... what was the hardest thing for you on our honeymoon?"
She smiled at me and said: "Saying ouch like I meant it."
