What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste. Ewww...
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
They're too bitter.
A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.
The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "
"Getting my date drunk."
I have a a real problem with sex and booze...
Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.
