I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?
A bum walks up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and says: "I haven't eaten anything in four days!"
She looks back at him and says: "God I wish I had your will power."
The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
And that's when the fight started...
