I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?
The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."
And that's when the fight started...
How do you get your wife to stop sucking her thumb?
Draw a dick on it.
One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.
I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."
