You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.
So I did - the middle one.
And that's when the fight started...
I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"
I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"
One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
