You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
A lady was looking for a turkey but couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No. They're dead."
You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."
