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Every Frickin' Joke

Out Of Warranty

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 10 April 2020
Hits: 2721

When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.
The old gal asks: "What's up?"
He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."
She says: "How often do I have to do that?"

That's Gratitude

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 August 2019
Hits: 2795

I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

Everybody's Hiring These Days

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 15 August 2019
Hits: 2578

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

The Morning After Effect

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 July 2019
Hits: 2697

I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"

She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."

So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Some Things You Never Want To Forget

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.

Between his sobs and sniffles, the old guy answers, "You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she cooks me my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me the best blow job an old man ever could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love again." He breaks down again crying no longer able to speak.

The young man puts his arm around the old guy. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up and through his tears he says, "I forgot where I live."

Sometimes You Need A Break In The Action

Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"

Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."

Trade It In

Why is a woman like a car?

On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.

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