D*ck Joke of the Day
A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.
  • Home
  • Dick Jokes
  • Just Plain Funny
  • That's when the fight started
  • WTF?!
  • About
  • Send Dick A Joke

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

  1. You are here:  
  2. Home
  3. Every Frickin' Joke

Every Frickin' Joke

Out Of Warranty

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 10 April 2020
Hits: 2694

When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.
The old gal asks: "What's up?"
He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."
She says: "How often do I have to do that?"

That's Gratitude

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 August 2019
Hits: 2776

I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

Everybody's Hiring These Days

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 15 August 2019
Hits: 2558

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

The Morning After Effect

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 July 2019
Hits: 2679

I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"

She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."

So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

Page 2 of 286

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Give Me One In A Bun

How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?

The hot dogs taste like shit.

Almost Crapped My Pants!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.

He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

Where's My Gun?

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

Copyright © 2026 D*ck Joke Of The Day. All Rights Reserved.