Pirate Walks Into A Bar

Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?

Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?

If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!

The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.