Pirate Walks Into A Bar

Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?

Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.

My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"

She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."

And that's when the fight started...

A woman asks the pharmacist if he carries extra-large condoms. The pharmacist replies, "Yes, would you like to buy some?"

The woman says, "No, but do you mind if I stand here and wait for the next guy that buys a box?"

What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?

Kill your cat.