Bartender to pirate: Why the paper towel sticking out of your hat?
Pirate: Arrgh, Got a bounty on me head.
I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"
I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"
And that's when the fight started...
What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.
OK... So what did Adam wear?
A hole in Eve's fig leaf.
A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"
"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."