My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"
She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."
This lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices a handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts. Making sure she goes through his line, she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out, to which he responds, "Sure lady."
They no sooner get out of the store when she again leans over and whispers, "You know, I have an itchy pussy."
The young man responds, "You'll have to point it out lady, all those Japanese cars look alike to me!"