What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?
Full.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
One night my wife tried to get a rise out of me and make me jealous. She asked: "Honey, what would you say if I was having sex with your best friend?"
I told her: "I'd say you're a lesbian!"
And that's when the fight started...
Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.
The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.
