What do a dwarf and a midget have in common?
Very little.
The other night I was having sex with my wife when my cell phone rang. I answered it and said: "Can I call you back? I'm in the tub."
And that's when the fight started...
An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.
"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."
The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."
Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
