Every Frickin' Joke

The Down Under

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 02 January 2015; Hits: 2773

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

BaaaAAAHH

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 01 January 2015; Hits: 2855

Why's a sheep better than a woman?

A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

Needs More Duct Tape

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 31 December 2014; Hits: 2420

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

Should Have Written A Pre-Nup

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 30 December 2014; Hits: 2516

Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"

Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."

Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

In-Laws Can Be The Worst

A young couple were driving down country road in total silence, having had a little disagreement at their last stop. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

And that's when the fight started...

Who Stole My Drink?

A drunk calls the police, and says, "They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal..."

Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat."

Better Safe Than Sorry

I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"

I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."

And that's when the fight started...