Every Frickin' Joke

The Down Under

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 02 January 2015; Hits: 3326

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

BaaaAAAHH

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 01 January 2015; Hits: 3441

Why's a sheep better than a woman?

A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

Needs More Duct Tape

: Category: Just Plain Funny; Published: 31 December 2014; Hits: 2994

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

Should Have Written A Pre-Nup

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 30 December 2014; Hits: 3205

Husband: "What would you like for your anniversary, Sylvia?"

Wife: "A divorce, Bernie."

Husband: "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not Necessarily A Religious Test

You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?

If they all went, it would be hell.

Some Things You Never Want To Forget

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman." "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.

Between his sobs and sniffles, the old guy answers, "You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we make love again, and then she cooks me my favorite meal. In the afternoon when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me the best blow job an old man ever could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love again." He breaks down again crying no longer able to speak.

The young man puts his arm around the old guy. "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up and through his tears he says, "I forgot where I live."

At The Cattle Auction

My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.

I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."

And that's when the fight started...