You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.
Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.
She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Guy walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What'll you have buddy?" The guys says: "Surprise me."
So the bartender pulls out a naked picture of the guy's wife!
Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"
Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."
