You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?
You know, it's not every day my wife says, "Sweetheart, why don't you take me upstairs, fuck me in the ass and cum all over my face."
Today was no exception.
