You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
Studies have been done to determine what pleases a woman. Turns out it takes only 3.4 inches to please a woman.
Doesn't matter if its Visa or MasterCard
Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"
I said: "Close it!"
And that's when the fight started...
Last night, I finally realized a longtime fantasy... I came all over my girlfriend's face.
Man, was she pissed when she woke up.