You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
Two old ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
Her friend replies, "Oh sure I do." So the first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second one answers: "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
"Mom I tied the knot."
"Great. Now kick out the chair he's standing on & you're finally rid of the jerk."
What's the difference between sin and shame?
It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
