You know why every woman doesn't go to heaven?
If they all went, it would be hell.
What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?
A crack whore.
A guy goes into a bank for a business loan.
The bank manager says, "What kind of business do you want to start?"
The guy says, "I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on pussy and it makes it taste like a peach."
The bank manager says, "I'm afraid we're not interested."
A few months later the guy walks into the bank pushing a wheel barrel full of money.
The bank manager says, "I see that idea for black powder really paid off."
The guy says, "Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder."
The bank manager says, "What does it do?"
The guy says, "Give me a peach and I'll show you."
A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
