What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
...so, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started...
I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."
She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"
Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."
One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"
"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."
