Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick. Booyaa!
What do you do in case of fallout?
Put it back in and take shorter strokes.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
A guy is sitting at the bar and he's really drunk. His dick is out, he's a monstrous hard-on, and he's beating off like there's no tomorrow.
The bartender says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get outta here."
The guy says, "Are you kiddin'? No way I can leave. If I stood up I couldn't walk. In fact, I'm so drunk, I don't even know who I'm screwin'."
