Things Are Tough All Over

: Created: 07 June 2016; Hits: 3133

Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.

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No, Not That!

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

Not For Instagram

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.

Make A Wish

A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."

The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."

So the crocodile bit his legs off.