Things Are Tough All Over

Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.

What's the difference between pussy and apple pie?

You can eat your Mom's apple pie.

Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?

They're called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.