Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.
Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.
Many people have been asking who I'm voting for in the next election. My answer:
"To tell you the truth, I'm never voting again...Because voting is like marriage, no matter who you choose, it turns out bad."
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liqour cabinet.
Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
I didn't think you did.