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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sperm Banks or Blood Banks?

Hits: 2974

A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions... HANDS DOWN!

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire!

Hits: 2903

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

Don't Forget to Eat Your Veggies

Hits: 3062

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Damn Good

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the preacher's hand. He said, "Preacher, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned good!"

The preacher said, "Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity." The man said, "I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five thousand dollars in the offering plate!"

The preacher quickly reponded, "No shit!"

Ring the Buzzer

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head nurse.

Wife's Lament

One Friday afternoon two women are sitting on the front porch. The first woman says, "Here comes my husband with a bunch of flowers. That means I'll be on my back with my legs in the air all weekend."

The other woman asks, "Why, don't you have a vase?"