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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sperm Banks or Blood Banks?

Hits: 3030

A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions... HANDS DOWN!

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire!

Hits: 2948

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

Don't Forget to Eat Your Veggies

Hits: 3118

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Afternoon With The Girls

One day at lunch her friend remarked: "So... your husband drowned and left you two million dollars. Wow! Two million dollars, and he couldn't even read or write."

"Yeah" the widow replied, "And he couldn't swim either."

We Do It Every Year

Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.

As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.

Maybe Just One More

A guy was walking around the office Christmas party belting down drink after drink. Each time he took a shot he reached into his shirt pocket, pulled something out, took a look, then stuck it back in his pocket. Finally, a friend walks up to him and asks: "Hey man. I've been watching you all night. What do you keep checking in your pocket?"

"That's a picture of my wife."

"So why do you keep looking at it?"

"Because," he replied: "When she finally starts looking good, then it's time to go home."