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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Sperm Banks or Blood Banks?

Hits: 2511

A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions... HANDS DOWN!

Liar Liar, Pants On Fire!

Hits: 2506

What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

Don't Forget to Eat Your Veggies

Hits: 2597

What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?

Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.

(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Women Are Emotional

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

Drop The Coin Right Into The Slot

A couple is in divorce court to decide on custody of their child. The judge asks each one to give a reason why they should be the one to keep the child.

The wife says, "Well I carried this child around in me for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process. This is my child and a part of me." Then the judge turns to the husband and asks the same question.

The husband replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out. Now, tell me, who does the drink belong to -- me or the machine"

How To Spend a Fun Afternoon

A cop pulls a guy over with a pickup truck full of penguins. He says:"You can't drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately." The guy says OK, and drives off.

The next day, the cop sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of penguins, only now they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over again and barks at him: "I thought I told you yesterday to take these penguins to the zoo?"

The guy answers back: "I did ... today we're going to the beach!"