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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Get Your Nails Done Too

Hits: 2271

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

Hits: 2490

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

Things Have Gone Too Far

Hits: 2991

What is more messed up than fingering your sister?

Pulling your finger out and finding your dad's wedding ring.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who Likes Bananas?

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

Normal Reaction

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

On The Parade Route

Two women are stuck on one side of the boulevard as a parade passes through... complete with floats, a marching band, and hot air balloons.

One gal asks the other: "What's this all about?" Her friend tells her: "It's the gay pride parade."

The first gal replies: "Yeah. Well I suck dick and take it up the ass. Where's my fuckin' parade?"