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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Romance Is Not Dead

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What does it mean if a man remembers the color of a woman’s eyes after a first date?

She’s got small tits.

Never Too Old

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Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when a guy in a raincoat walks up and flashes them.

Two of them had a stroke. The third one's arms were too short.

Things Are Tough All Over

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Life is like a dick. Simple soft straight relaxed & hanging free.

Then a woman comes along & makes it hard.

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All Sinners Must Come And Confess

What's the difference between sin and shame?

It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

One Day in a Meadow

One day a horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow when the horse falls into a mudhole and begins sinking. He calls to the chicken to go get the farmer to pull him out. The chicken runs back to the farm but the farmer is nowhere to be seen. So thinking fast the chicken jumps in the farmer's Porsche and drives back to the mudhole. He ties a rope around the bumper then throws the other end to his friend, the horse. Driving the car forward he saves his friend from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again, only this time it's the chicken who falls into the mudhole. The chicken yells to the horse to go get the farmer for help. The horse says, "Wait a minute. I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches himself over the width of the hole and says, "Grab my dick and hoist yourself up." And the chicken does excatly that and is able to pull himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

 

Take the Plea

Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.
 
So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."