A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Have You Upgraded To 4K?

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At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

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Guy visits his doctor with a problem "Doc, I don't know what to do about my wife. Every night, she goes to Harry's Bar and picks up men. She's fucking everybody in town and it's driving me crazy. What should I do?"

The doctor says, "Take a deep breath, calm down, and then give me the directions to Harry's Bar."

Do I Make You Hungry Baby?

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

Who Stole My Drink?

A drunk calls the police, and says, "They stole my dashboard, they stole my steering wheel, they stole my brake pedal, they even stole my gas pedal..."

Then, before the cops can ask where he is, he says, "Hey, never mind, I'm in the back seat."