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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Time To Do Some Lawn Work

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What's the best part of gardening?

Getting down and dirty with my hoes.

Now You'll Love Math Class

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Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!

Now That's A Mess

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I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!

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A Sign of the Times

Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives. One signs to the other: "Man, was my wife mad at me last night! She went on and on and wouldn't stop!"

His buddy signs back: "When my wife goes off on me I just don't listen." The fist guy signs: "How do you do that?"

His friend signs to him: "Easy! I turn the lights off!"

The Chicken Or The Egg?

A chicken and and egg are lying in bed.

The chicken begins to light up a cigarette.

The egg says: "Well... I guess that answers that question."

Come Early For The Sale

Nacho comes before a judge. The judge asks: "Why're you here?" Nacho tells him: "I'm accused of starting my Xmas shopping early."

The judge says, "That's not a crime. How early did you start?"

Nacho says, "Before the store opened."