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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Open Wide

Created: 10 May 2016
Hits: 2824

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."

He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"

The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"

Do You Know How To Please A Woman?

Created: 08 May 2016
Hits: 2895

Studies have been done to determine what pleases a woman. Turns out it takes only 3.4 inches to please a woman.

Doesn't matter if its Visa or MasterCard

Who's Thirsty?

Created: 06 May 2016
Hits: 2767

What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A cherry float.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Real Facts Of Life

A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.

He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"

Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."

Stuck In An Elevator

What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?

One who knows how to fix elevators.

On The Rag

What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.

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