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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Try This Pickup Line

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Old Dick is always willing to help a guy score with a great pickup line. Here's one you can try:

"I'd like to point out that 'beautiful' has 'u' in it. But, 'quickie' has u & i together."

You're welcome.

Not That Kind Of Sperm Bank

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Sex is like a bank account.

First you put it in. Once you take it out you lose interest.

Some Extra Cash

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A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.

The doc asks, "Why?"

The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."

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Best Way To Impress

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine and dine her, buy gifts for her, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.

Never Trust A Lefty

The other day my wife and I were golfing when she suddenly asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" I told her, "No sweetie" but she shot right back with "Oh I'm sure you would." So to keep the peace I said "Okay, I would." Then she asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" and not knowing where this was going I told her, "Yeah... I guess so."

Finally she asked me, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" and I told her, "No, she's left handed."

And that's when the fight started...

I Wanna Register To Attend

Can't wait to go to the convention for women with no legs. I heard the place was crawling with pussy!