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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Bad News And Bad News

Created: 04 May 2016
Hits: 3335

A wife tells her husband: "I have good news & bad news." The husband says: "Just give me the good news."

The wife: "The paperboy isn't sterile."

What A Ride!

Created: 03 May 2016
Hits: 3377

Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"

Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."

What Just Happened?

Created: 02 May 2016
Hits: 2876

What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?

45 minutes.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Call Me Anything But Crazy

A man boards an airplane & takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up to see the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really?" he said. "And what kind of myths are there?"

"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are the best. "I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldberg , but my friends call me Bubba..."

Another Bingo!

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

From Down Under

A 40-year old woman never married because she only wanted a man who had never been with a woman sexually. And as you might imagine she searched for years but never could find one. So she finally tried one of those International dating sites and sure enough met a man who had lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. After a long-distance online courtship, they finally decided to marry.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare herself for the long awaited moment. When she walks back into the bedroom she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, totally naked, and he has all the furniture piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks.

"I’ve never been with a woman," he tells her. "But if it’s anything like fucking a kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!"

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