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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Bad News And Bad News

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A wife tells her husband: "I have good news & bad news." The husband says: "Just give me the good news."

The wife: "The paperboy isn't sterile."

What A Ride!

Hits: 3421

Two little old ladies were at the slots in Atlantic City. One asks: "So... did you come on the bus?"

Her friend replied: "Yeah, but I made it look like an asthma attack."

What Just Happened?

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What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?

45 minutes.

Page 76 of 180

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Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."

The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."

The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."

The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

Biology Class

The teacher was trying to teach the class the proper words to use when describing bodily functions. She admonished the class to use the term urinate. To reinforce the lesson she asked the class to use their knew word in a sentence.

When she called on Little Johhny he said: "Teacher... urinate. But if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten!"

Counting Sheep

A blonde is tired of all the dumb blonde jokes, so she dies her hair black. Then one day she drives past a farm and sees a farmer with his flock of sheep. She stops and says to the farmer, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you let me have one?"

The farmer says, "Sure". She says, "112." The farmer says, "That's incredible. You're exactly right."

As the girl reaches for her prize and is putting it in her back seat, the farmer says, "Hey...if I can guess what color your hair used to be, can I have my dog back?"