What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?
About 65 pounds.
A guy visits a psychiatrist and lies on the couch. The doc asks: "What's your problem?"
The guy tells him, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat fuck?"
I told my wife: "Honey, I don't like how you look with the new glasses on." She said: "Sweetheart, I don't wear any glasses."
I said: "Yeah, but I do."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.
She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.
