What's the difference between the lesbians in porn films and a lesbian in real life?
About 65 pounds.
A woman was in bed screwing her husband's best friend when the phone rang
After hanging up, she says, "That was Harry, but don't worry, he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you."
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breath through something that small?"
A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.
The doc asks, "Why?"
The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."
