Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.

The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

How can you tell a blind guy at a nude beach?

It's not hard.

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What do women think about during sex? That depends...

The prostitute thinks: "That's all."

The nymphomaniac thinks: "That's all?"

The housewife thinks: "Beige...yes, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!

Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:

Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.

Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.

Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.

Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"

Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.

A Snap Diagnosis