Ladies and Gentleman We Have A Winner

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.

What's the difference between meat and chicken?

If you beat your chicken, it dies.

Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?

When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."