Ladies and Gentleman We Have A Winner

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.

Losing a wife can be hard.

In most cases, it’s damn near impossible.

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"