Ladies and Gentleman We Have A Winner

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.

What do you call 8 days of blowjobs by candlelight?

Honica Lewinsky.

A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.