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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

One of Life's Lessons

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Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.

The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.

A Simple Plan

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What did the dick say to the balls?

You guys hang around here while I go inside.

The Birds and the Bees

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Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.

"Won't that knock my teeth out?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Tell Me A Story

Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"

What's Not For Breakfast

What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

You can't get either of them at home.

It's Gonna Be One or the Other

An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."