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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

One of Life's Lessons

Created: 06 July 2016
Hits: 2671

Before you have sex you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress by yourself.

The moral: In life, no one helps you once you're fucked.

A Simple Plan

Created: 04 July 2016
Hits: 2710

What did the dick say to the balls?

You guys hang around here while I go inside.

The Birds and the Bees

Created: 02 July 2016
Hits: 2293

Little schoolgirl asks her mom: "Is it true that babies come out where boys put their wieners in?" "Yes, honey." her mom assures her.

"Won't that knock my teeth out?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Of A Kind

What do you call a beautiful Polish girl?

Lucky!

Hang On Tight

Little Johnny was passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peaks in and catches mommy and daddy in the act. Before daddy can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, "Oh boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees...

Johnny hops on daddy and daddy gets back to businessn... pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping... Johnny cries out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the mailman usually get bucked off."

Hang In There Buddy

One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Little Johnny was sitting and found him with his hand down his pants. She asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?" Little Johnny said, "It hurts down there." "Well then," said the teacher, "You need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home."

A little while later, Johnny came back to the classroom and took his seat. When the teacher walked over she was shocked to see Little Johnny had his dick hanging out of his pants. The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!"

Little Johnny said, "The nurse called home, and my mommy said if I can stick it out till noon, she'll come and pick me up."

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