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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Pinocchio's Complaint

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Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

Depends on Your Persepctive

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My girlfriend thought I had a small penis.

I thought she was just shallow.

World Renown

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I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian kicked me out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Been There Done That

A guy asks his drinkin' buddy if he had any suggestions on how to spice up a dull marriage. His buddy tells him "Well, you can always have an affair."

"I can't possibly do that! I would never cheat on her." he replies. So his buddy tells him "Look, if you convince her to let you do it, it won't be cheating." The guy thinks sure, that could work. And so he heads home, and finding his wife in the perfect mood, he springs the idea on her that maybe a new partner would add some excitement.

"Honey," his wife says, "that won't help our marriage. Believe me, I already tried it."

 

Finger Lickin' Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?

By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

How Do You Know For Sure

How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?

He's still there.