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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Pinocchio's Complaint

Created: 03 August 2016
Hits: 2727

Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

Depends on Your Persepctive

Created: 01 August 2016
Hits: 2554

My girlfriend thought I had a small penis.

I thought she was just shallow.

World Renown

Created: 30 July 2016
Hits: 2575

I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian kicked me out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Dig Deep In The Memory Banks

A man picks up a cute little number in a bar and convinces her to come back to his hotel. After they're done screwing around he asks, "Am I the first man you ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be... your face looks familiar."

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

The Clock Is Ticking

What's the definition of eternity?

The time between when you cum and when she leaves.

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