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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Pinocchio's Complaint

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Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

Depends on Your Persepctive

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My girlfriend thought I had a small penis.

I thought she was just shallow.

World Renown

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I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian kicked me out.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Need A Pen

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

Everybody's Hiring These Days

This cute gal is on the psychiatrist's couch. She says, "Doc... you gotta help me. I have this uncontrollable urge to fuck all of my employers."

The psychiatrist says, "Hmm .. I see... ever work as a receptionist?"

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."