WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

: Created: 18 August 2016; Hits: 2792

#WTF?! Just when you think you have seen it all, a guy allegedly tries to fornicate with a red van. One Tuesday evening, cops in Dayton, Ohio received a 911 call about a man "pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign," according to a Dayton Police Department report. Nothing like a big swingin' dick to make a cop's night!

: Created: 22 June 2015; Hits: 3161

WTF?! A German man who scanned the QR code on a bottle of ketchup said it took him to to a porn site. Perfect. Heinz... 57 varieties... now... 58. Our question is, where can we get a bottle of ketchup like this! The only thing edible at the local 24-hour video store is flavored lube!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Who's My Real Dad?

A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"

"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".

"But Dad, she's not black either."

"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"

How To Score

A guy takes a girl out to dinner for their 1st date. She orders shrimp cocktail, filet mignon - medium rare, a loaded baked potato, the vegetable medley, and crème brulee' for desert. Then before the waiter leaves she adds a bottle of expensive wine.

The guy looks at her and says, "Does your mother feed you like that?"

She says, "No... but my mother's not looking to fuck me."

If I Had Only Known

The young bride approached her awaiting husband on their wedding night and demanded $20 for their first love-making encounter. In his highly aroused state, the young man readily agreed. And so this scenario was repeated every time the couple made love for the next 30 years, him thinking it was nothing more than a cute way for her to have a little extra to buy new clothes, etc.

Then one day the wife arrived home around noon to find her husband totally distraught in a drunken state. When she asked what happened he told her he was fired and at his age prospects of getting a new job were slim. They were ruined.

Calmly, she opened the desk drawer and pulled out a bank book showing deposits and interest for 30 years totaling nearly $1 million dollars. Pointing out the front window toward the shopping mall she said you see our bank out there? She then handed him stock certificates worth nearly $2 million dollars and told him that he was the largest stockholder in the bank. She explained that for 30 years she had charged him each time they had sex, but she had invested all that money for both of them and this was the result.

By this time the husband was even more distraught and started beating his head against the wall. The shocked wife cried, "Honey, what could possibly be so upsetting after hearing all this good news?"

The husband replied, "If I had known what you were doing, I would have given you all of my business!"