WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

: Created: 07 March 2017; Hits: 3270

#WTF?! Seems a man can find love, albeit fleetingly, with a chain link fence. So many holes, so little time... 'til the cops show up! Texan Eliodoro Estala is facing an indecent exposure charge after a neighbor reported witnessing the naked 32-year-old “having sex with a fence” that separates their Austin properties. Not a neighbor you'd want to borrow a cup of sugar from!

: Created: 09 May 2015; Hits: 3419

#WTF?! Did he keep pliers by the bed when he pulled out her teeth? Or is that what he calls his Johnson? A New Zealand man has been found guilty of six charges stemming from accusations he pulled out his lovers’ teeth with a pair of pliers during sex.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Black Listed

Three couples, one older, one middle-aged and one newlywed want to join a church club. So they go down to the church to meet with the pastor who is responsible for screening couples before they join. After the pastor tells them about all the benefits of joining, he explains that in order to qualify, they must refrain from having sex for one month. If they fail they would not be approved for membership. The three couples each agree and head on home.

A month later, the three couples return and and sit down again with the pastor. He asks the older couple if they had abstained from having sex. The older couple replied, "Oh yeah, no problem." and they are allowed to join.

Next the middle-aged couple were asked the same question and their reply was the same. So they too were approved for membership.

Finally the pastor asked the newlyweds the same question and the husband responded: "Well, it went great for a couple of weeks. But one day my wife was reaching for a can of corn on a shelf and she dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just couldn't stand it. That's when I said the hell with it and screwed her right there."

The pastor was shocked but said: "You realize that now you won't be allowed into the club."

The husband replied: "Oh that's okay, we're not allowed back into Safeway either!"

No Luck At All

I have the worst luck when it comes to scoring with chicks. Last night I got this cute little number back to my place and made my move with, "So you want to have sex?"

She said, "Well, I don't normally do this... but I think I'm gonna pass."

Done But Not Retired

What would you call a hooker with jizz all over her face?

Call her a cab ... her job is done.